The more you deny it, the more it clings onto you. Let’s face
it; whoever said that the first love makes a lasting impression in one’s life
sure had a glass of vodka in his hand. You know... Men always speak the truth
when they’re drunk. Well mine’s gone and been a while now and I’m totally over
it. But I can’t help but acknowledge the little things that bring a smile on
your face when you look back. You know after a while it probably doesn't matter
if you had a sad ending or a happy one. You just get used to it after the mean
Ekta Kapoor soap episodes of dim light falling on you with music that make you
faint and tear drops filling up a bucket just enough to wash your car! The truth
is your first love leaves a mark, sometime quite literally too!
Usually when you get hitched, and this may seem apt for the
loves following your first love too, the first 6 months (generally in the case
of your first love) or 2 to 3 months (generally from your successive ones) are
termed as the honeymoon period where all’s forgiven. Even your biggest crime is
treated with a laugh. Your insult is probably nudged by a shoulder. Perhaps after
the first love... 2nd, 3rd, 4th and as the list goes on
the tolerance level drops down until we’re sick and tired of it and ask our
parents to find us a “good” girl\boy. Technically, for all the nerds, time is
inversely proportional to tolerance and for the food enthusiasts, Love is like soup, the first mouthful is very hot, and the ones that follow gradually become very cold.
After a good time has passed and the beards are dropped\dark
circles are removed and you turn on the search engine for the prospects,
perhaps successful in meeting and talking to quite a few, you realize that this
is a part of “growing up”. More often than not, your first love, however serious
and eventful, will come to you as a roller coaster ride with a lot of curiosity
and foolishness. Mind you, I used the
word roller coaster, so it is clear that there may be some with a lot of
endurance and promises to be the only one, so with all respect to that comes
curiosity and foolishness. You’ll laugh at how stupidly foolish you were trying
to get a glimpse every time he\she passes by, ride your vehicle\flaunt your
dupatta so fast in front of her\him that they’ll get impressed. Now, we all
grown men\women look at our tiny little brothers and sisters do the same and can’t
imagine how silly it must have been. As for people who took a long time to come
out of it can refer to love as snakes, if they don’t kill you, they’ll probably
paralyze you.
Now, there is not a darn thing that you wouldn't do to fight
for your love. That’s all said and done. The problems start when you fight with
your love. Usually if the guy\girl is a hot property there are a few hyena like
scavengers waiting to grab on to every possible chance they get. When it comes
to being foolish, not many of them pass in it. Because it is your first time,
it’s okay to screw up. Raging hormones, parental pressure, peer pressure and
the fact that you need to keep the other happy makes you go a step beyond and
that is quite often referred to as overdoing or crossing the boundaries. Now the
reason I say that not many pass in it is because we are too naive to understand
where we come from. The ignorance is a tad too much for it to be understood or
explained and that is what screws things up. Like they say “the magic of first
love is our ignorance that it can never end.” That’s where we often go wrong. And
for the ones who pass, well dear friends, lady luck has stood by your side.
After the honeymoon period has gone, Boom! Reality bites in
and bites hard. Each and every move is scrutinized under a microscope. And once
you’re caught up in this cycle it’s a herculean task to get out and start
fresh. And sometimes it ends in a break
up. To those of you who get a second chance, well again you've got luck by your
side and some of them who don’t, well it’s mostly a lonely couple of months,
putting on some weight, watching the movies you probably would watch even under
a threat of a gunshot and running through a few pictures of your happy times
together.
The fact is your first love does leave a mark. None of the
sadness will probably sting if you’re heard out properly and if patience can be
the key. Time does heal everything. All the pain, the anger, the love or the
hatred. Even to people who've had bad
ending, after the process of “growing up” you’ll now keep laughing at the
slightest remembrance of an event that’ll link you to your past. Well this is life
folks! We all grow up. For the ones who don’t, life will rot and lie in an egg
shell. But for the ones who do life is all about seeing things in a different
way and you imbibe so much from seeing others and learning from the mistakes of
the past. You grow and become a better person so much that you wished if your
past was with you at your present.
For all the first timers out there, this is no history
lesson. This is just to tell you that the first love is perhaps going to be
with you for a very long time. Worry not of what things are in the end, just
take the leap of faith and live it up fully. If you’re a bit to serious about
it, show patience and love when they’re low. That’s when they need it and it
makes wonders. Personally, I respect my first a lot. I wished I’d saved some of
the photos of my past instead of burying them to have a happy laugh in the
present now. Like Daphne du Maurier says I'm glad it cannot happen twice, the fever of first love. For it is a fever, and a burden, too, whatever the poets may say. Live it with no regrets. Hell! You can always blame the raging hormones for any
flaw! But first love. Magical and Stings like a bee.
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